PAULINE BRIGIDA.

My name is Pauline Brigida. I am 46 years old, have been married for 27 years and have two teenage daughters. I have lived in the Fairmount area for almost 30 years and work as a teaching assistant for special education elementary school children. They bring so much joy and laughter to my life. It is very rewarding.

In mid-June, 2004, while showering, I found a lump on the top of my left breast. The next day I had a physical exam, mammogram, and a sonogram. The tests were inconclusive so I met with a surgeon the next day. He advised having a needle aspiration or a lumpectomy. Looking back he was preparing me for he worst. My husband and I decided it would be best to have the lumpectomy. I had to wait 5 days for the results…not too bad….or so I thought. Waiting for the results was a bit difficult. My family and friends tried to assure me it was probably a cyst. I tried not to worry that it could be cancer. Maybe I’d be the lucky one and it was only a good scare. However, I ended up being a 1 in 7 statistic.

On June 30th my husband and I went to the surgeon’s office. After an “endless” wait, a cursory exam, some small talk, my husband was the first to realize something was wrong. I must have been consumed with my own thoughts until the doctor said it was, indeed, cancer. I think I had an out-of-body experience: my head started to spin, my ears felt full and plugged, I couldn’t feel the table I was sitting on. He kept talking: his voice like a delayed reaction in my head. I dressed and we met again in his office. I hung to the wall as I walked; feet not feeling the ground; not feeling my body; numb all over. Why is he still talking? Doesn’t he know I have breast cancer?????????

That night my husband talked to the girls. As composed as I could be we all sat around the table and discussed the situation. Trying not to be an alarmist I tried not to let them know how very scared I really was. My younger daughter looked me in the eye and asked if I was going to die. Although a real possibility, I had to lie and say everything would be all right. As previously planned, we left the next morning for our ten-day vacation. Even though my husband couldn’t make it I didn’t think it would be fair to rob them of our cherished time together.

By the time we got back I was referred, by Beth Baldwin, to see Dr. Kara Kort, a well-known breast cancer surgeon. By July 21st I had a double mastectomy. The news was excellent: the cancer had not spread to my lymph nodes. The tumor was large but not “in situ”, meaning it had not spread to the surrounding tissue. And there was a clear margin of tissue surrounding each breast when they were moved; again, excellent news. Since chemotherapy was a must I was referred to another highly respected and well-known area oncologist, Dr. Sheila Lemke. I started chemo on August 21st and for the next three months that was our life. It was very difficult for me, but with help and support of so many friends, family, co-workers we all got through it. I am especially thankful for Carol and Beth Baldwin who were there for me and my family from the beginning. They were in the waiting room before and during my surgery, and were the most powerful prayer warriors you would ever want to see in action. I don’t know where I would have been without the spiritual support they provided.

I am done with chemo, my hair is growing back, I feel stronger physically and, with time, will be my old self again. Our family life is almost back to normal. Cancer is not the focal point of our everyday life. As scary as it was mentally, as difficult as it was physically, as devastating as it was psychologically, as testing was it was spiritually, having cancer has brought a lot of things to our lives. Having cancer was not the end of my life, but the beginning of a new one. My life is enriched in so many ways, and my appreciation of everyone who is in it astounds me. I have turned into a spiritual giant; growing leaps and bounds; knowing that the Lord will never leave my side. Ever.